Because c'mon! Shame on Invasion's slowburn peril for not providing them a more frequent showcase.

He's my boyfriend. He is. No, he just is. He's all green-eyed, widow's-peaked, melting-pot hotness and oiled-massage voice. He's it.

• My hilariously frantic rush to launch myself from the sofa, out of a cable-induced vegetative state, spilling napping cats in all directions, in my quest to reach the Remote of Doom and change the channel before I see more than two seconds of the commerical for the new video game, Resident Evil: Outbreak.
  
  I know it's silly, but it's full of creepy zombies and it makes me remember my way too emotional reaction to watching brother Bart play the original video game years ago. I was only a spectator and my guts seized up every time a zombie lurched around a corner or struggled up from an unsuccessful gunshot wound. It's dark in my apartment at night and I can't have visions of zombies dancing in my head.
  
  Sadly, I have a similar reaction to the Manhunt commercial.
  
  
• Upon doing a Google search for the correct title of the new Resident Evil game, I discovered that a sequel to the craptastic film adaptation is coming to a theatre near me in June. I saw the first film because Hot British Man (Distractingly Thomas Janesian Variety), James Purefoy, was in it. It sucked, but I liked the evil Umbrella Corporation stuff, Milla Jovovich sported some hella kick-ass boots and, duh, zombies! So I will probably (and very shamefully) shell out for the sequel.
  
  
• I dreamt last night that the world had gone zombie. The only humans left were those who were somehow tainted and rendered unpalatable to the walking dead and me. I was the only untainted person left for the zombies to devour, so they were all after me. My tainted friends and I had boarded ourselves up in a garden apartment somewhere and were doing a respectable job of keeping the voracious buggers out, but, as these things are fated to go, my ingestion seemed imminent. It was nice of my friends to stick by me, though. Plus, unsettling as it was, it did encourage me to wake up earlier than my alarm clock would have and I was miraculously almost on time for work! So, yay, zombies! I guess.
  
  

1. The zombies are referred to as "cannibalistic" in the film. Is that really true? They're not technically human anymore. To be a cannibal you have to consume your own species. But they are humans, just dead ones returned to life...Splitting hairs, yeah?
   
   
2. Do you think Zombie Jesus had anything to do with Dawn of the Dead and The Passion of the Christ being the top two box office movies of last week?

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