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• photos •
• little loves • Eddie Cibrian's Dimples
Because c'mon! Shame on Invasion's slowburn peril for not providing them a more frequent showcase. Wentworth Miller
He's my boyfriend. He is. No, he just is. He's all green-eyed, widow's-peaked, melting-pot hotness and oiled-massage voice. He's it. • past loves • |
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Miss the snow? Yes! Miss the arctic cold? Not so much! The wind chill hurts my eye sockets. jlb | 10:04 God, I love snow. I didn't realize how much I missed it. jlb | 15:28 A short history of my morning. I walked a mile to the post office and it wasn't snowing. I was mailing something to Portugal. The postal worker said, "Portugal...Is that Spain or France?" (sigh) "Um, it's Portugal." I left the post office after ten minutes and it was snowing. Traffic was suddenly a nightmare, of course, because these city dwellers are retarded. I walked another quarter mile to the bus stop. I got pelted by salt trucks twice -- both north- and southbound -- and those projectile rock salt chunks hurt. Two "not in service" #9 buses later, I was two hours late for work. I really need to move someplace where the citizens are not quite so daunted by precipitation. Really. I'm hungry and I want to go home, so here are a few quick follow-ups:
jlb | 17:16 I don't know why the hair color commercials have to toy with me like that, but it's nigh impossible to color your hair by yourself. So frustrating. At least my hair looks like a Hershey's bar now! Mmm, chocolate. I think I have some pudding around here somewhere... "Why is it every time I go somewhere with you it always ends in violence and terror?" jlb | 00:56 Fuck. Riding the #36 out of downtown this evening, I made the most awful discovery. In River North, just a block apart, Chicago now boasts a Red Lobster and a Chili's. I am so goddamn ashamed of this city I can barely lift my head. I mean, sure, it's the tourist district and those slow-walking numbskulls probably want to eat deep-fried everything at Red Lobster instead of various fresh fish and crustaceans at Shaw's Crab House, but damn, people! Am I back in effin' Burnsville?! Shit! Other bad news? As The O.C. viewers of a certain age have feared since the introduction of Flashdance-style tops on Marissa and everything out of Susanna Hoffs' garbage can on Anna, 80s fashion has returned. From the same grim bus window, boutique store G'bani assaulted my eyes with a jacket lousy with zippers and a shirtdress. An effin' shirtdress! The good news? Nina and Jack, sittin' in a tree...I know it's evil but I'm so excited that they're a team again! Plus, Lady Mac! Lady Mac! Wee! Ah, sweet sweet Season One memories... Any more good news? Yes. I found horny goat weed on sale at Jewel. Hee! Horny goat weed. "I was never a fan of it anyways. My mom picked it out. I was like, 'Mom, dude, I'm--' I mean, wait! That's not true. I dress myself. That's not true." jlb | 23:52 I've just been informed by the awesome secretarial team of Nancy & Debra that I actually lost two hats last winter. So, for anyone keeping score, that's seven hats in six years. "Even my boogers are spicy!" jlb | 16:36 I lost another stocking cap. That's got to be half a dozen in as many years, including my dearly departed, heather gray, Merino wool number that cost AUD$80 at that mall in Sydney that the Japanese tourists were so crazy about. Good thing this morning was relatively mild weather-wise because I had a horrible feeling I was going to have to wear that dorky earband thing from my vain teen years. I may still have to, if I can't get my butt to Sears or somewhere tonight for a new hat. I have this vision of my accidentally abandoned stocking caps -- not to mention their Thinsulate™ mitten cousins -- forlornly riding the buses and trains of the CTA, waiting for me to come back for them. "How come you get a social worker? I'm the one with stigmata." jlb | 09:39 Please allow me to use a most aggravating incident from The O.C. last night to illustrate something you should never, ever do in life. First, some background info. Seth has always had a crush on Summer, who pretty much didn't even know he existed. After the O.C. gang's disastrous trip to TJ, Summer was starting to kinda sorta fall for Seth's adorkableness. School starts up again and annoying, 80s-thrift-store reject, refused-to-die-en-route-to-Tahiti Anna re-enters the picture. She's always grooved on Seth. Love triangle firmly established. Girls fight over Seth for several episodes before he decides to run across the beach into his own arms and just be buddies all around. Fast forward to New Year's Eve. Summer and Anna (now hesitantly friendly) attend the same party and unhappily vie for the same random guy. Summer snags him, Anna leaves the party. Summer kisses random guy at midnight, then sadly declares "You're not Seth Cohen." (Who else could ever be?) Meanwhile, Anna completely ignores the rules of a love triangle peace accord and searches out Seth for that first kiss of 2004. So, last night, Seth and Anna agonized over, and made twin aborted attempts at, telling Summer about their new couple status. When she overheard them discussing their shared inability to display some maturity, they were forced to finally reveal all. In the midst of this, Anna says to Summer something along the lines of, "We hope you're okay with this because we still really want to hang out with you." Surprisingly, and to my everlasting disappointment, Summer did not jump up and kick the living shit out of Anna. Please, people, don't ever ever say to a newly minted fifth wheel, "We still want to hang out with you." That is just unforgivable. Way to rub her nose in it. Even if she hadn't been the third leg of the love triangle, it would still be just an evil, shitty thing to say. And so goddamn condescending! "Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love." jlb | 11:47 Terminator is on right now! Again. Some more. See what I mean? jlb | 18:57 Yesterday I saw four separate puddles of frozen vomit on the streets of Chicago. Strangely, they were all approximately the same shade of pink. Weirder still, I rarely see a puddle of non-frozen vomit. I guess the conclusion to draw from this is that people don't mind cleaning up normal vomit, but once it's frozen, they're not touching it. Or something. Today I feel the need to expand upon my Manhunter-on-cable observation. Since signing up for cable TV several months ago, I've noticed the ubiquity of several specific films. We're all familiar with the practice of one station showing one movie over and over for a week or so. But these specific films are not shackled to just one cable network. They are not just repeated ad nauseum for seven days before popping up every once in a while. These films are insidious. For example, as noted previously, I saw Manhunter half a dozen times this past weekend. It was repeated twice on the same day on one particular station. The other four viewings were spread out on four separate stations at various times from Friday to Sunday. And this happens every weekend. Do a lot of people owe Michael Mann a lot of favors? Even more omnipresent, and by no means relegated to weekends, is Terminator. I'm willing to bet that Sarah Connor runs for her life at least once a day on various cable stations every day of the week -- often more than once per day on the same station. Yesterday, the movie repeated in back-to-back, four-hour blocks on at least three occasions on the same channel. It was like being stuck in a time warp. How oddly appropriate. The movie that first made me take notice of this phenomenon is The Edge, which pops up all the time on both network television and cable. It roams from channel to channel in unpredictable patterns, but always reappears at fairly regular intervals. For example, you may not run across it for a whole month. Then, one Sunday afternoon, it will pop up on, say, WGN. The following Thursday, you'll channel surf past it at 8 p.m. on some cable channel you never actually watch. Two days later, it's on super late night TBS, and then it disappears into the wilderness for another month or so. It's almost as if the film developed artificial intelligence, escaped into the airwaves and is now running from them that would see it programmed conventionally. It has to lay low a lot, but sticks its head out every once in a while to have a look around. I wasn't drinking when I thought of that -- nor when I spent a good portion of yesterday evening (before falling asleep on the sofa to the dulcet tones of BBC America DIY programs) considering the wintertime paradox of a frozen yet runny nose. Finally, Nina is back on 24! Don't bother wondering how her lying, spying, wife-killing, terrorist ass got out of federal prison -- or why she let someone give her that very unflattering haircut -- just revel in her awesome evil. She's my girl! "I think we can all agree we're glad Hitler didn't have an underwater robot." jlb | 16:19 Apparently snow and digital cable do not mix. Comcast and I will have to throw down if they can't figure out how to keep my signal up for more than 10 minutes at a time. I was trying to watch Benicio del Toro on Inside the Actor's Studio, people! Stop toying with my emotions. Oh, and a note to cable channels everywhere: No one needs to watch Manhunter half a dozen times every weekend. It's good, but it's not that good. "A grizzly bear with a chainsaw. Now there's a killing machine!" jlb | 00:52 FINALLY! Some freakin' snow. "Hash browns and a bagel? You're renting out a lot of space at the bottom of the food pyramid." jlb | 13:11 |
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• the glow •
What stars? That's the glow, baby. • distractions •
Pale & Hairy in CA
Tomato Nation
Television Without Pity
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