|
• photos •
• little loves • Eddie Cibrian's Dimples
Because c'mon! Shame on Invasion's slowburn peril for not providing them a more frequent showcase. Wentworth Miller
He's my boyfriend. He is. No, he just is. He's all green-eyed, widow's-peaked, melting-pot hotness and oiled-massage voice. He's it. • past loves • |
|
More love for Sars: "We stood to sing the national anthem, and I thought to myself that whatever differences Americans have with each other, the one experience we can all share as a nation is that moment right before 'and the rockets' red glare' where the song climbs up into a register none of us can reach from the key where we started, and we all hunch our shoulders and squint and throw our voices up towards it, and once we get past it, everybody in the room is so relieved that we practically shout the rest of the song. When Americans boom out 'and the hooooome of the braaaaave,' it's not really out of pride in our country's bravery. It's mostly because we can actually hit the note. The next time you go to a baseball game, listen for that hitch. It's right after 'gallantly streaming.' It's everyone in the stadium praying that our vocal cords don't atomize on the word 'glare.'" I'll bet you all wish you had her for a daughter/sister/friend instead of me. I don't blame you. She's much cooler and funnier, and a better writer. jlb | 16:44 "What if you were attacked by an evil pigeon?" I just choked on an giant California Navel watching this. High-larious. Seriously. [monkey] jlb | 14:37 Ah, what a pleasant, full feeling. One good and kindly soul who shelled out -- and dude shelled out hard -- for authentic Firefly scripts has been kind enough to share with all us rabid, starving fans. Most of us had a gander at the "Heart of Gold" script as soon as he'd typed it up and released it to the 'net yesterday. It's not the same as viewing that unreleased episode in all its SlyYay! glory (insert obligatory "gorram FOX" here) but, oh, how it soothes the soul. Boy whores! Mal and Jayne get laid! Not with the boy whores. Or one another. Minds out of the gutter, people. It's art! It's puppets! It's puppet art! Guns, and horses, and laser beams, and the miracle of life! And our crew! Man, I miss them. And my Mal comes through with a line that, honestly, would just drop me if I were to hear it from a real-life guy. "Well, lady, I must say -- you're my kind of stupid." Kinda says it all, don't it? jlb | 14:20 Check out 28 Days Later. Morbid and creepifyin' stuff from the minds of Danny Boyle and Alex Garland. Can the film be as good as the trailer? It was released in the UK in December and I haven't heard Word One about it stateside yet, so my expectations are low. But, good trailer. That counts for something. By now, I'm sure you've all heard about Mister Rogers. It's totally depressing. I wore my tennis shoes and a cardigan to work today in his honor. I've had the song in my head all day. I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you, so Let's make the most of this beautiful day Since we're together we might as well say Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor? How can you not love that? jlb | 14:19 Did you guys know you can buy a private island in Tahiti for just $1 million USD? Fat Guy, I'm looking in your direction. Lake home, be damned! The Broman Atoll. Can you picture it? jlb | 14:31 Roundabout 3:39 a.m., I woke up laughing. That's right, laughing. Out loud. What was I laughing about? Not a clue. I seem to remember something about a car spinning out on a deserted road and a Freaks-style pinhead, but huh? I think my mind is finally melting. Or I'm developing some horrifying form of Girl-Bart's sleep dementia. jlb | 14:13 Sars, Sars, Sars! I love you, I love you, I love you! In my nearly thirty years on earth, I've gone to just about every possible kind of show, in just about every possible category of venue. I've seen Madonna at Madison Square Garden, I've seen honky-tonk in Deep Ellum, I've seen traditional Irish bands in Queens and blues greats in Jersey and French-nobility gimmick rock in Boston, I've gone to tiny rooms in the Knitting Factory so far below the surface of the earth that you get a canary with your wristband, I've hiked to seats so high up in the rim of Giants Stadium that I had to train at Everest Base Camp for two weeks before the show, and I've squeezed into every small- to mid-sized venue between Morningside Heights and Canarsie, yet the mystery remains unsolved -- what the hell is wrong with people? jlb | 13:18 Who can resist the Joss Whedon love? The guy's freakin' funny. (And he created Firefly.) Q: Can you justify Twinkies to everyone in the UK? Joss: Dude, they never see an oven. They're science that's soft! jlb | 15:51 How cool is Chris Rywalt? Read "Are You Stupid?", not only for his take on why we're force-fed mind-numbing reality television, but for this brilliant mouthful: "This show is joke-proof, irony-proof, satire-proof. It's the noble gas of reality shows, formed only in the intensely dense fusion reaction at the center of Hollywood where the massless particles of television producer intellects collide with the bare nuclei of ideas stripped of their originality."Note to family: You're all getting blog nicknames because I think it's just more fun that way. Map yourselves via family placement to the following Simpsons quote to find out who you are: "The thing about my family is, there's five of us: Marge, Bart, Girl-Bart, the one who doesn't talk and the fat guy. How I loathe him!"Still need help? Marge won't travel. Bart won't return my phone calls. Girl-Bart is a super genius. The One Who Doesn't Talk is acting quite the ho lately. Fat Guy, you're suddenly rich, but, based on the above quote, you'll have to start secretly despising yourself. I haven't yet decided on my own alias. I'm currently deciding between "Little Lisa Garbage Face" and "Blabbermouth the Jerky Doll For Jerks." And while I'm playing the Name Game, a personal note to Girl-Bart: I encountered a lovely word today that another chick with dude problems used to great effect. Fucknutter. Isn't that vivid? Could replace DB. Whadya think? jlb | 14:40 This morning on the Red Line, the man sitting next to me was picking his nose and alternately eating his boogers or wiping them on his newspaper which he continued to read throughout. For like twenty-five minutes. That is all. jlb | 10:54 Wow. It's kind of ridiculous how enraged this article just made me. I mean, what the fuck? "Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge sought to calm a jittery America today, saying there is no need to panic over the prospect of fresh terrorist attacks." Who the fuck is panicking? From what I've seen, most people in this country yawn every time something terror-related is brought up. Sometimes they giggle while they're yawning. Like me; I do that. What pisses me off most is that these are the kinds of stories the rest of the world is seeing. Can you blame them for hating us? Jesus Christ, I hate us and I'm right here with two eyes to see that not a single goddamn person is panicking about the terrorist "threat." You want to see panic? Check out the Einsenhower this afternoon at 2 p.m. After a solid morning of winter "storm" hysteria bred by the meteorologists of this city, everyone had to jump in their cars to beat the snow home! It might snow 1.5 inches overnight! Batten down the hatches, city dwellers! It's currently 8 p.m. and the slightest, already-melted dusting has fallen upon us. Worst case scenario: We'll have 6 inches by the close of Saturday. I'll bet upstate New York hates Chicago the way the world-at-large hates the U.S. If the terrorists were smart, they'd just release tapes of Osama giving severe weather reports. Americans can't ruin the rest of world when they're barricaded within their homes, guarding their stockpiles of canned goods and bottled water, snow emergency kits at the ready. jlb | 20:10 Last night, as I waited on Montrose for the #78, I saw a southbound Damen bus pull up at the light. A woman, underdressed for the evening's arctic chill, ran off the bus and, with the most cursory of glances left and right, sprinted across Montrose, down the sidewalk and into an alleyway. She was carrying a bottle of wine. I had a Mal moment. A total "hunh" moment. It's not often that you think, "Well, I've never seen that before." It was oddly refreshing. jlb | 16:28 Just when I thought I was the only one immune to the Columbia media fallout -- except KQ, of course, who's always got my back when it comes to snarking on tragedies -- I read "Since When Are Astronauts Heroes?" in The Simon. Thank you, Matt Hutaff, for making me feel less of a leper. Then, an observation from Friday night, since I had no internet access this weekend: The new subway tunnel at Jackson is complete ... and, man, what a freak out! I don't think they could have made it any more disorienting if it had been designed by those Spanish Civil War prison cell architects. I'm not sure what does it -- the lights? the gleaming tile walls? the criss-crossing, blue-red pattern on the domed ceiling? -- but the tunnel seems to extend for a conservative 1000 miles or so. When I first stepped into it, a voice in my head immediately implored, "Go toward the light, Carol Anne!" It gave me an uncomfortableness. Also, granite floors. That multi-million dollar construction price tag will look small in comparison to the lawsuits filed by unfortunate CTA travellers who take a header when it gets the least bit slippery. Nice work, geniuses. Pretty's better than safe every time. I don't know exactly how this part fit into the tunnel reconstruction, but the Jackson Red Line platform is now unnaturally bright. It's like Plato's The Allegory of the Cave in there with the shadows thrown up in high relief on the walls. jlb | 10:55 Back on 8 January, I posted about 24 and how I was waiting for the writers to lose their shit. It just occured to me that I thought they had done so in the 5:00 - 6:00 p.m. episode, broadcast just before all those Tuesday nights of American Idol auditions, when they revealed the albino girl as the traitor-terrorist and had her shoot her cute British/Arab fiancé. I'll never forgive her for that, by the way. Cute British/Arab Boy's accent was the best part of the wedding subplot. But I was so wrong. The writers tricked me. The "lost their shit" moment came in this Tuesday's episode, 6:00 - 7:00 p.m., when Spawn, running sans bra through the woods, is menaced by a puma and then gets caught in the trap intended for said puma. Bravo, writers!! That takes the cake! That's by far a more ludicrous idea than Bride of Kiefer's amnesia saga last year. My hat's off to you all! Have any of you thought of joining the Alias writing staff? You might need a few weeks to ramp up to their level of nonsensical bullshit, but I'm sure you'd fit in. They could teach you how to make the stupid plot developments entertaining, not simply laughable. Lest you think otherwise, in both cases, I kid because I love. jlb | 17:43 So, I saw the movie Max last night, the one about Hitler before he was HITLER. It had interesting stuff going on, but overall it was just a mess. However, it has a great line of dialogue that made me giggle all evening. Max Rothman, after knocking down a young Adolf Hitler's artistic aspirations and moving on down the street, feels bad for the pathetic little guy and turns back to say, "Hitler, c'mon, I'll buy you a lemonade." Isn't the idea of someone taking Hitler out for lemonade just too funny? Of course, no one knew he was HITLER yet, but still. jlb | 15:21 Not to make light of the whole Columbia thing, but this really sticks in my craw. The front page of the Sun-Times today features a quote in a huge font, which I assume was taken from Bush's address or the interminable news coverage of that NASA guy being interviewed by every reporter on the planet, something like: "Each one a hero." The word "hero" has apparently lost all meaning in modern English. Every time you turn around someone is declaring someone else a "hero." What the hell made this crew so heroic? The fact that they went into space like dozens before them? The fact that they did science experiments in zero gravity? The way they charmed school children from orbit? Oh, wait, I know! It was the way they died! Strapped into their jumpseats as their shuttle disintegrated around them! How incredibly heroic!! Shouldn't we reserve the term "heroic" for, I don't know, people who willingly risk their lives for other people? Or those who devote their lives to causes bigger than themselves? This crew had no reason to believe they wouldn't make it back to earth safe and sound. Shuttle flights seem so routine nowadays that when something awful happens everyone is shocked. So don't tell me these astronauts went up there a couple weeks ago nobly ready to die for the U.S. space program. Gimme a fucking break. Tragic and horrible, yes. Heroic, no. jlb | 10:44 |
|
• the glow •
What stars? That's the glow, baby. • distractions •
Pale & Hairy in CA
Tomato Nation
Television Without Pity
© 2002-2006
|
