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Eddie Cibrian's Dimples

Eddie Cibrian's Dimples

Because c'mon! Shame on Invasion's slowburn peril for not providing them a more frequent showcase.

Wentworth Miller

Wentworth Miller

He's my boyfriend. He is. No, he just is. He's all green-eyed, widow's-peaked, melting-pot hotness and oiled-massage voice. He's it.

•  past loves  •

 
•  2003-01-29  •
 

This was almost lost to my bad memory forever!

At O'Hare's security checkpoint on my way to Boston on Friday, I saw Stevie Wonder. No shit. The TSA people were falling all over themselves for the chance to wand him, apologizing profusely for the inconvenience as they did so. Where's my apology? Stevie Wonder didn't have to unlace Docs with 10 eyes, did he? And then have another TSA guy pull every goddamn item out of his backpack because the X-ray people saw "something sharp"? "I don't know what they saw," was the final, shoulder-shrugging conclusion, then, "You wanna put all this stuff back in your bag?" Assholes. Good thing I pack light. Can't imagine what it's like for the travellers who bring all their belongings on holiday.


jlb   |   13:36

•  2003-01-21  •
 

This morning, as I stood on the Sheridan Red Line platform in a freezing cold wind, a 95/Dan Ryan train approached, sounded its whistly horn repeatedly and sped on through the stop. The guy standing beside me on the platform freaked mildly and turned to ask a stranger (me), "Why would a train not stop like that?" Well, I'm a CTA girl, so I know the answer, and despite the freezing cold wind and the fact that it was already 8:50 a.m., I was all Zen about it. "Oh, they're probably running behind," I say.

"I've never seen that happen," replies my new platform buddy, who, by the way, was taking up way too much of my personal space. I decide not to say something condescending about how he must not ride the el very much -- because why am I so proud of my daily, public trans-riding ass anyway? -- and respond with curiosity and worldly wisdom, rather than disdain. "Really? It happens all the time." After a pause in which I stare at the very blue, freezing sky, my new friend asks, "So does that mean we can expect another train right behind it?" Maybe he does ride the train a lot, as that is such a train operator thing to say.

Digressive interlude. "Step up, step in. There's another train following directly behind. Doors are closing. Step up, step in." That's my favorite version.

Just as I turn to nod encouragingly at him, the clackety rumble of an approaching train is heard. It slides around the bend toward the Sheridan stop ... and blows that damn whistly horn repeatedly, as if to say, "Back up, motherfuckers! I'm not stopping either!" It sails on past. Of course, at this point, all the Zen leaves me as I exclaim, "What the hell?! Two express trains in a row?!"

I lost all my bored, "I do this everyday" points right there. But, seriously, I'd never seen two express trains in a row. It was annoying. It meant about three times too many people jammed together on the train all the way down to the Loop. It meant a very long ride, punctuated at each stop with the royally pissed-off "Out, please!" call of the CTA commuter, a phrase so loaded with urban rage that "please" turns into a threat akin to "If you don't get the hell out of my way so I can get off this fucking train, I'm going to kick you in the balls so that you're on the ground and I can just step over you!"

But at least the traincar heat was turned up to summer-on-the-Equator level.


jlb   |   11:55

•  2003-01-19  •
 

Just saw Chicago at the new AMC River East 21. It's totally fabulous. Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot! Richard Gere tap dances! Someone needs to feed Renée Zellweger a sandwich! She's gross.

So, the River East. My first impression was, why have eight traditional doors, plus a revolving door if every single traditional door has a sign on it asking patrons to please use only the revolving door? Huh? You have to go up escalators to buy tickets, and the ticket girl was a bitch, then there were more escalators to get to the theatres. The carpeting was uggo, but that's normal for movie theatres, and the bathrooms are huge. A lot of people fill 21 theatres and they all need to pee occasionally. I got screen #10. The theatre is ginormous. There's an orchestra section of seats and three tiers of stadium seating! Comfy seats, too, and good audio. Unfortunately, the screen is obviously curved, so much so that if you aren't sitting dead center you can tell. Boo.

Then there's the temperature. Movie theatres should be cold, and Chicago theatres generally fail miserably at this. In the winter they're especially overheated, enough to coax you dreamily off to sleep during the most exciting film. But not the River East. It's subzero, people. Bring your hat and gloves. The whole building is subzero, except for the toasty bathrooms. Go figure.

But I forgot to see if they sell Junior Mints. Tomorrow night perhaps.


jlb   |   17:12

•  2003-01-18  •
 

I have discovered the best dessert ever: the roasted banana from Banana Leaf Kitchen. It's topped with ground peanuts, cashews, sweetened milk and honey. Keep in mind that I despise bananas. From now on, when I order from Banana Leaf, I'm just ordering, like, six roasted bananas. Mmm ... potassium overdose. With cashews and honey. I didn't even notice there was a banana in it.


jlb   |   23:03

•  2003-01-16  •
 

Two random notes for today.

Note to the guy crossing Irving Park this morning on the way to the el: Dude, whether you wear the strap over the top of your head or around the back, those are still your girlfriend's earmuffs.

Note to the state trooper who lives on my block: Dude, sir, your prowler is a chump car. It looks like something they would give a rent-a-cop to drive around the mall parking lot. Ask for something more ominous-looking or no one will ever take you seriously.

Happy birthday, Dad!


jlb   |   23:13

•  2003-01-13  •
 

I urge everyone to see The Pianist. I thought it was beautifully done. It's got all the normal trappings of the other Holocaust films you've seen, but it's unique in its understatement and elegance. The images are mostly left to speak for themselves. There's very little dialogue and even the protagonist is mainly an observer. And that's Adrien Brody as Wladyslaw Szpilman, the man on whose life the film is based. He's got such a heartbreaking, fragile sort of face. He's lovely. A great actor, too, but I knew that already. Guess the lack of dialogue gave me a chance to really look at him.

Then in signs-of-the-Apocalypse news, FOX does the U.S. proud yet again with Man Vs. Beast. If there's a better reason to go ex-pat I can't think of one. Oh wait, yes, I can. Lieberman in 2004!

Finally, before I slip into a Benadryl coma, I wanted to add something to my Courtney Day account. On the el to Heather's house in the morning, I sat across the aisle from a blind guy reading a book in Braille. It was fun to watch. He fell asleep reading on the train just like I do! Blind people are just like you and me!


jlb   |   23:47

•  2003-01-12  •
 

January 11 is hereby declared Courtney Day!

It was her birthday, of course, and Heather, her completely awesome older sister, organized a surprise party at 11 a.m. Courtney thought she was going running in 10 degree + 10 below windchill weather ... but, instead, there were mimosas, and Bloody Marys, and pot stickers, and rock melon wrapped in proscuitto, and carrot cake cupcakes, and this awesome egg dish with artichokes and 84 kinds of cheeses in it ... Heather gave me the recipe. Courtney's running buddies were there ... and Courtney and I were total lushes for fairly early on a Saturday morning. Yay, us!

So I went home around 5:30 p.m., and ate dinner, and napped, and then went back out to Johnny O'Hagan's in Wrigleyville around 10:30 p.m. The bar was packed. I met the larger circle of connected-to-running-buddies, Courtney made me do a Jager shot (Dad, I did it in your honor!), and then the downstairs finally opened. Courtney danced on a table, her bellybutton flashed red-green-red-red-red-green, and I drank way too many pints of Bass Ale.

Then Todd showed up. Todd always gets me in trouble. He's the reason I have to blame the onion loaf for my personally mortifying behavior at that whole Thanksgiving thing. Remember, kids-younger-than-me, alcohol poisoning is much less embarrassing in college. Get it all out of your system. Not that I have alcohol poisoning as I write this. Cuz, yes, I had 2 Bloody Marys, 2 mimosas and 4 glasses of champagne (neat) this morning ... then oatmeal, then a nap ... then at least half a dozen beers, plus Jager and tequila sans lime ... but I'm not poisoned tonight. Not hardly. I'm watching some terrible B movie on ABC and contemplating going to the movies, bright and early tomorrow. It's 3 a.m. Maybe I'll have some more oatmeal before I go to bed.

Happy birthday, Courtney!


jlb   |   03:05

•  2003-01-11  •
 

I took special notice today on the el of my favorite public trans advertisement since the model search "Are you sick of everyone telling you how gorgeous you are?" ad. To wit:

Do you have an anger problem?

Love the way it screams out boldly from a yellow background. Wouldn't a cool blue or green background be more appropriate? Shouldn't the psychiatrists-in-training at U of C's Pritzker School of Medicine try to soothe the rageaholics speeding along underground enclosed in a traincar packed with commuters?

The part of the ad that never fails to make me smile is its insistence that participation in the study "will be provided at no cost" -- note the emphatic underlining! -- and that "parking costs will be reimbursed." So here's where I'm fuzzy -- (Ooh, I just channeled my beloved Mal there. It was a little tingly!) -- Are they going out of their way to pacify the angry? "Don't worry. We'll take care of everything that might stress you out." Or, are their little almost-psychiatrist hearts and minds scheming? Is this very ad part of the anger management test? Do they make these promises and then pull the rug out when people come in to participate? "Ha! Fooled you! You'll have to buy your own medication! And you thought we'd pay for parking? Are you nuts? It's like fourteen bucks an hour! Now, tell me, are you having a problem with anger?" Speaking as a psych grad, that's how I'd do it. I'm just saying.

I've been renting Season One of Farscape from Netflix and it's a very good show -- once you get over the whole Muppet thing. Plus, it's filmed in Australia, so 98% of all the actors have brilliant accents! Ripper!


jlb   |   02:35

•  2003-01-09  •
 

Mmm ... Sarah-y goodness:

"If you really can't bear to venture above twenty-five miles an hour on an interstate, perhaps it's best if you stay home until spring comes instead of lurching fearfully along, half on the shoulder, getting passed by penny farthing bicycles, because at that speed, you won't get home until spring anyway, so why not spend the time reading a book?"


jlb   |   12:35

•  2003-01-08  •
 

Okay, I'm a few days late, but everyone should run right out and see Adaptation. It's hilarious and mostly brilliant. Any movie in which two characters can have the following exchange is worth it:

DK: I can't believe I got shot! Isn't that fucked up?
CK: Stop laughing!

What's more, my boycott of 24 hasn't lasted long. What good was it going to do anyway? And why punish another show that gets low ratings just because FOX sucks hard for cancelling my favorite low-rated show? And, of course, there's Kiefer. So after this week's episode (Go, Nina! You're my girl!) I've decided that Nina and Jack are soulmates, in spite of the whole Nina-killed-Jack's-wife-Jack-wants-revenge thing. Not to mention the fact that Nina currently has a very large gun pointed at Jack's head and President Palmer's express permission to shoot his ass. That's good TV, people. Nina and Jack should hook up again and double-date with Jack and Irina from Alias. No one in the world would be safe.

Let's see what else is worth mentioning from this week's ep ... Oh, of course. Death by flare gun! Ugly Persian Rug House of Torture and Death! Impending Lynn v. Lady Mac smackdown! Barely five minutes of Spawn screen time!

I'm just waiting for the writers to lose their shit completely mid-season. Remember Bride of Kiefer's dreaded amnesia storyline last season? (shudder) See what I mean? But for now, yay, 24!


jlb   |   16:18

•  2003-01-03  •
 

All together now!

Have you ever seen the seagulls
Flying in the heavens
Or the crimson sails in Galway Bay
The fishermen unfurl
Oh the earth is filled with beauty
And it's got it all together
In the form and face and dainty grace
Of a pretty Irish girl

Oh she is my dear, my darling one
Her eyes so sparkling, full of fun
No other, no other, can match the likes of her
She is my dear, my darling one
My smiling and beguiling one
I love the ground she walks upon
My darling Irish girl


jlb   |   14:51

•  2003-01-02  •
 

Oh, I almost forgot! One more thing I learned from my trip home for Christmas: avoid row 10 in ATA's new 737-800s. "Window seat" in row 10 is just a euphemism. There's only airplane wall, people.


jlb   |   10:39

•  2003-01-01  •
 

Don't you just love church bells? No matter how one feels about church, I can't imagine anyone not loving the bells. I seem to remember lots of bells in Leiden when I visited Karen there. Loved 'em. The bells of St. Mary of the Lake, just a half block from my apartment, ring every day at noon for about ten minutes. It's fabulous, especially on a day like this when you wake up to them.

Unrelated. Did you know that hybrid corn crops are boosting the summertime humidity levels in the Chicago area? That's just what we need. Like I needed another reason to hate biotechnology.


jlb   |   12:30

 

Who else gets a little charge every New Year when the clock strikes twelve, then gets sad right after? I can't even blame the melancholy on champagne because I'm just having my first glass. Veuve Clicquot, by the way. No reason to go cheap for the occasion. Did you see the New Year's fireworks display from Sydney? Fucking amazing. The Aussies never skimp on the pyro. Dry summer forests be damned!

Now, in a non-sequitur fashion, for Karen's reading pleasure, I will include a list of the things I learned this Christmas:

• Cannibal zombie foetuses are the best kind.
Firefly can win a person over in just thirty-five minutes.
• Steel-toed boots make you the most popular girl at the security checkpoint.
• That kid has a gigantic head!
• There can never be enough Swedish meatballs.
• Hastings is no longer the retreat from horrifying suburbia that it once was.
• Martial arts-skilled stick figures kick all kinds of ass.
• Nothing will ever improve upon original Nintendo.
• Uno!
• My enchanted flying creature has how many hit points now??
• Lobsters are natural hypnotists.

Oh, and a special note to Jon, as he prepares to hop across the pond: Remember that a "jumper" is a sweater, "fanny" does not mean "butt," and if a Brit flashes you a V, he's flipping you off.

Happy New Year.


jlb   |   00:36

 

•  the glow  •

What stars? That's the glow, baby.


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Pale & Hairy in CA
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Tomato Nation
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Chicagoist

Television Without Pity
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Hacking Netflix
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